Now this blog may not be about what you are expecting so relax. Before I begin I think that I should mention that if you haven't noticed, a lot of my blogs are going to be about the youth because when I graduate from grad school I plan on specializing in the adolescent population. But on a more personal note, I take an interest in teens because one, it wasn't too long ago for me so I can still relate without sounding like an old fart and two, I want to pass on wisdom that no adult bothered to talk to me about or my friends weren't mature enough to know about and three, I take an interest because it seems like no one else does. Teens are actually very mature and knowledgeable if you ask the right questions and get them to expand past stereotypical areas. But anyway,....
I was talking to a friend of mine named Dom. He is 19 years old and wants to have his first sexual experience. Now first I applaud him for waiting this long for sex which should mean by now he is more knowledgeable and mature right? Wrong. Oh so wrong. He knew as much about sex as a middle school kid which is a lot of myths and a lot of confusion. Now, I'm going to say, personally, when you have waited as long as he has I place him in a totally different category than say younger teens because he should have done some research and it should be no hormonal spur of the moment type "oops"es going on. He is in college by the way too so... yeah. But anyway, his girl is a virgin too and she knew even less than he did about sex which is also troubling.
Let's be real here. As a female, we have the most to loose from the whole sex situation. What do I mean you ask? Well one, if this is your first time and its with someone you "love" we often make the mistake of equating sex with love when to guys they are 2 different things. A guy could not love you and have sex with you. Sex is physical, Love is emotional and we all know most guys just don't go there. Guys don't realize how much thought most girls put into sex (well, the first time anyway because we know its going to suck cow balls). But anyway, if the relationship goes south, the girl sometimes has a complex about the relationship's failure and it might carry into the new one.
Two, girls have to more knowledgeable about birth control options because WE have the babies. Period. If you are a female reading this and you do not know about birth control and you are having sex and you don't have an opinion about abortion because you don't think it can happen to you and you don't require condoms at every sexual act because you think its not up to you because you don't have a penis, you are in trouble. It's important that we protect ourselves from this because HPV and cervical cancer and well ad STI's are real and unplanned pregnancy can be a frustrating and confusing thing. As well as the fact that until you reach a stage in your relationship where you and your man know you are in it for the long haul, he could drop you at the drop of a hat and leave you with "gifts" you didn't want or need.
But what was the point of that? The point is that the fact the government only teaches abstinence and not real sex education leads to situations like this. I am pleased to report that after our little talk (which was not to keep him from having sex by the way because I am all for sex, lol) he decided to wait a little longer because he wanted for him and his girl to be more prepared and not leave anything to chance. And that's my whole thing. Why take a chance with your future and your health. If you know you wanna have sex, why not get educated and ask people who really know the truth and that may not be parents but just someone knowledgeable. And why the hell are parents not requesting that schools teach proper sex education? If they don't wanna do it that's fine but someone needs to and since schools babysit kids anyway, why not give them the life tools as well as the book tools that they are gonna need?
Can I get a witness?
2 comments:
I guess its one of the things that England is better than the States. Over here all teens get taught Sex Ed. and theres Condom campaigns everywhere.
I am a little older than you. Ok, much older. But the points you bring up have been issues since well before I went through those teen years. Unlike most kids, I researched sex deeply. I knew all the dos and don'ts, all the mechanics, my (then) immature brain had difficult time with the emotional side but you will find that the emotional side will give you trouble well beyond those early years. There is a simple rule that every teen should consider:
Girls offer sex in exchange for love, guys offer love in exchange for sex. That does not change until you are in your 40s (30s if you are lucky).
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